Rush Limbaugh signs huge new radio deal: Talk hosts reportedly claims nine-figure signing bonus, $38 million salary

Why is this man still making money by being in the public?? Why aren’t people shunning this bigoted, douchey asshole? (It takes a special brand of human being to be douchey, as well as an asshole…)

I mean, seriously!

Come on!

Most people I know, when I’ve mentioned that I like George Carlin, reply that they think he’s annoying. I think he’s kind of a hero. In 1972, George Carlin uttered “seven deadly words” at a show in Milwaukee and was subsequently arrested for disturbing the peace because he said: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

When this routine was played on a New York radio station in 1978, it resulted in a Supreme Court ruling upholding the government’s authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language. In 1978 the Supreme Court ruled that the words cited in Carlin’s routine were indecent, and that the government’s broadcast regulator could ban them from being aired at times when children might be listening.

I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I heard way worse things on the playground at school than I ever heard on television or radio (notice that I didn’t say movies–because, at the tender age of 11, my dad made me watch Basic Instinct because he said, and I quote, “It was a good movie. You need to watch it.”).

Kids are way dirtier, and way more resilient, than adults give them credit for. I lived with a dad who was literally a sailor, so I heard the words shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits, over and over again, and, just because I was around those words didn’t mean I used them and it also didn’t strip me of my innocence (which my friends from Michigan can attest to because they were dumbfounded at how much I didn’t understand when I was 18 years old). So, hearing those words, even all strung together, is not going to strip a child of anything.

Regulating free speech is a dangerous business. If you don’t like what’s on, then change the fucking channel.

So here are my seven reasons why I’ll miss George Carlin:

1. “So my name is a footnote in American legal history, which I’m perversely kind of proud of.”
2. When asked about the fallout from the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson’s breast-baring “wardrobe malfunction,” Carlin told the AP, “What are we, surprised? There’s an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It’s reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.”
3. “I don’t have any beliefs or allegiances. I don’t believe in this country, I don’t believe in religion, or a god, and I don’t believe in all these man-made institutional ideas.”
4. “I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”
5. “The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
6. “Religion convinced the world that there’s an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there’s 10 things he doesn’t want you to do or else you’ll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! …And he needs money! He’s all powerful, but he can’t handle money!”
7. “I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”

It’s my goal to try to lolcat an ANTMism every day. I don’t know how long I can keep up that kind of momentum, though.

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures